Well, Well, Imagine That, She Has The Flu

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Right after our early Christmas celebration, our entire family and some extended family came down with fevers, chills and otherwise felt like total crap. For each person, it lasted about 2 days.

Then the little one got a fever two nights ago in the middle of the night. She’s the one I practically got in a fight with her doctor over my refusal to get a flu shot for her.  The doctor has been pushing and pushing, calling both my husband and I twice a week trying to get us to come in and get the flu shot.

I finally scheduled an appointment, not to get her the flu shot, but to explain to them why I don’t want her to get the flu shot. I explained my fears to the doctor, told them about our family history, my fear of all the other chemicals in the flu shot, my older daughter’s horrible experience with the flu shot, and my opposition to things like GMOs and other unnecessary chemicals in our food and medicine.  Then the doctor was warm, kind and explained that she understood, and told me that knowing that we DON’T know the long term affects of these things also made her concerned. I left her office feeling understood, triumphant and positive I had made the right choice.

Well fast forward exactly 10 days later, and after two days of a high fever, I took my little one to the doctor and she has… you guessed it…. The Flu. Seriously?  Are you serious? (That’s exactly what I said to the smirking doctor).

Not only does she have the flu, but while the doctor and nurse were running the test (in another room), here’s what I heard them say:  “Well, well, imagine that… She didn’t get the flu shot for her daughter, and now she has the FLU! Shocking!”. I could hear every word, I could feel every jab of sarcasm.

When the doctor returned, she actually said “I’m not going to say I told you so, but I did tell you that you should have gotten her the flu shot. She probably wouldn’t have this if you would have gotten the flu shot for her”. I left in tears, with a prescription for Tamiflu, feeling horrible that I let my little girl get so sick. That has been the POLAR opposite of what I have been trying SO HARD to do for my kids.

My sleep deprived brain is going back and forth between feeling like the worst mother in the world and wondering if my choice might still have been the right decision.

She is not feeling well, but she’s playing right now and smiling and being silly. She’s gone back and forth between that, and just pure misery.  She’s not throwing up, no diarrhea, just a high fever and what I can only guess is a very achy little body. She’s drinking and eating, sleeping and playing, and we’re keeping her hydrated. I can’t help but wonder if this small bought with the “flu” is actually better than the side affects she would get from the flu vaccine.

But I’m still going to stew on this all night, as I’m going to need something to help keep me awake tonight so that every 3 hours I’m up to give her the medicine I’ve been trying to avoid giving her. I am so torn right now between feeling like I still made the right choice, feeling guilty that my daughter is not feeling good, and the whole situation at the doctor’s office. Maybe I’ll have an awakening about this tomorrow, but in the meantime, I think it’s time to find a new doctor.

So stay away from our house, and wash your hands! But please comment and tell me what you guys think- I would love to hear your experiences and advice on this!


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